01 Sep Should’ing Yourself 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏾🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♂️

Do you constantly say, “I should…”?

“I should exercise.”
Or “I really should go to bed earlier.”
Or how about “I should not have eaten that entire jar of marshmallow cream and now I should detox.”

Welcome!  You are my people.

The only acceptable “should” comes before the words “put my needs first.”

To get rid of the terrible should’s, we have to discuss the popular buzz word “self-care”.  But do you really know what it means? I asked myself that exact question and ended up becoming certified in Self-care and Boundary Setting. Yes, it’s actually a thing because apparently it is one of the most difficult things to do. Right up there with eating only a handful of potato chips or watching only one episode on Netflix.

Let’s talk about what self-care means first. Yes, it’s a broad stroke term referring to anything you need to maintain mental or physical well-being which is as unique to each person as a fingerprint.  Now what does it mean to you? How do you practice self-care and view its importance in your daily life?

Let me offer two scenarios: Person 1 needs a therapist, but the insurance won’t cover it and they must pay out of pocket. Person 2 needs to drink more water. Which Person needs self-care? If you said both, great. Now let me ask you this – which Person’s self-care is more urgent or important? Hopefully you answered both. If you disagreed, let’s talk. You may not understand how important your needs are. You may even feel like you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself or for spending the money to do so. It’s an age-old problem of putting others’ needs before your own. Does that sound like you?

Hey, for two decades, I too, thought I didn’t deserve me-time. How dare I take an hour away from the kids to exercise or get some peace; or write, or spend time with a friend when I had a family to take care of! Which landed me as both Person 1 and 2 in the above scenario. I had a meltdown in my early 40’s trying to take care of 3 kids, a husband, a house, dogs, a few guinea pigs, mice, fish, Sea Monkeys and hold a full-time job. I didn’t understand the word “self-care”. Which landed me in a therapist’s office. My husband was upset that I was incurring debt to go to the appointments. His money concern was valid, but I assured him a divorce lawyer should be much more expensive. Partially joking there, but I had to stand up for myself and believe I was worth it.

There are many who struggle to drink sufficient water simply because they’re afraid to slow down long enough to use the restroom. I really don’t need to go into the proven scientific importance of staying hydrated, we all know it affects our entire being. So, for the record, I too had this issue on a ten-hour shift, avoiding the backlash to ask someone to cover the phones so I could go. Little did I know, I was training people how to treat me. By denying myself the simple act of drinking water so I didn’t have to use the bathroom, I was training my boss and peers they could walk all over me. Oh, how far I’ve come. No one should have to feel like that over a human function.

Now I ask you, how are you training people to treat you? Are you should’ing yourself? Do you need to learn to speak up and have healthy boundaries? Do you need to learn to say no? I can help you.  To date, I have taken over 380 hours of counseling, coaching and behavioral management courses to help you learn how to take better care of yourself both mentally and physically. Choose to take better care of yourself in every way. Do it! You ARE worth it.

If you’d like to work with me, you can go HERE to find my rates for a private session.

If you just need a little fun boost, check out my Self Care Sundays series on YouTube here.

All the love to you my gorgeous creatures!

Angie